WELCOME, REGISTRANT

You are entering the official intake pipeline for Champions. The process is long. The process is strange. The process is mandatory.

You will be asked for information. Some of it sensible. Most of it not. Answer truthfully — or at least entertainingly.

Estimated processing time: 10–15 minutes. Do not close this window or your progress (and dignity) may be lost. You can return on the same phone to resume.